Signs you are dating someone with borderline personality disorder

For them, trust is always an issue, often leading to distortions of reality and paranoia.You’re seen as either for or against them and must take their side.

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On the other hand, they equally fear the romantic merger they try to create, because they’re afraid of being dominated or swallowed up by too much intimacy.

In a close relationship, they must walk a tightrope to balance the fear of being alone or of being too close.

In the process, they give over more and more control to the borderline and further seal their low self-esteem and the couple’s codependency. Setting a boundary can sometimes snap them out of their delusional thinking. Both strategies require that you build his or her self-esteem, learn to be assertive, and derive outside emotional support. BPD usually is diagnosed in young adulthood when there has been a pattern of impulsivity and instability in relationships, self-image, and emotions.

Giving in to them and giving them control does not make them feel more safe, but the opposite. BPD affects women more than men and about two percent of the U. They may use alcohol, food, or drugs or other addiction to try to self-medicate their pain, but it only exacerbates it.

The person with BPD may appear to be the underdog in the relationship, while his or her partner is the steady, needless and caretaking top dog. A codependent who also yearns for love and fears abandonment can become the perfect caretaker for someone with BPD (whom they sense won’t leave).